It's probably the radiation that's causing my eyes to hurt a little, this slight throbbing at the back of them. I do wonder if they are swollen and red now. Or maybe the cause could be fatigue and just simple exhaustion from being out of the house the entire day. Whatever it is, it must be the same reason that disables me to feel the keys on the board as I punch in each alphabet onto the screen - the line of words growing longer with each movement of my numbed fingers.
My head's been spinning and the past few days have been a bored. Each day, passing by slowly and unimportant, barely crawling by. Most hours spent at the lighted screen, as I am doing so now; it's glow slightly hyponotising and comforting, and the rest are mostly spent sitting around and thinking - coming up with ways to make up to this depressing emptiness and insecurity.
Eyelids drooping and shoulders hunched, aching and tired, I know I should be asleep, getting some damned rest but watching the seconds pass excites me, each second bringing me closer to you, to hearing your voice again, to having the worry taken away.
I spent a few hundred seconds of my time looking through words and describtions of time spent with you days and months ago, just bringing myself to reliving it again, hoping to feel you beside me - only this time it feels more real as a memory, an experience, actual occurence.
Many call it an obsession, an addiction and possibly and act of pathetic dependence and over-reliance. I wouldn't know what it really is but I only know how I would personally define it. I decided though that instead of puching more keys with my numb fingertips, I'll just leave the empty blanks that leave the decision of definition to you - your own perception of emotions, your opportunity to judge me any way you like.
My eyes are closing on me as I jab at the last few alphabets - goodnight.
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