December 5th, 2006 (just as remembered)

With your hand on mine, we sat side by side, my head on your shoulder, watching the evening sky turn to pink. Time stood so still, so silent, I could hear every breath you inhaled, I could hear the soothing pulse of your heartbeat against the inconsistent one of mine. I could sit here, by you, forever now.

The still air only sucked the little life out of silence. The silence that amplified your breath quickening when you played with my fingers, lightly brushing the tips of my fingertips against your's. I vaguely heard your pulse turn just as inconsistent when you pulled me into you, your body so lightly pressed against mine. Time, would you just freeze?

And finally when you spoke, I could feel your breath against my cheek, feel your chest heave as you recited each sentence like a script. I could only feel, though. The silence seemed to linger, strangely, muffling every word as you spoke. Straining to hear what you had to say only tired me so. So, I leaned into you and closed my eyes, letting myself feel your warmth, feel your breath against my skin, registering this new feeling of what seemed like completeness. This is all I need, you are all I need.

I opened my eyes to the tingling sensation around my jawline, as you gently ran your fingers across. The same fingers that, then, reached out to brush through my hair, sending a tingle down my spine. And as I closed my eyes, you cupped your hands around my jaw, gently tilting my head towards you. Do you hear my heart racing?

My pulse paused for that brief moment in time when I felt your lips press against mine, your warm breath against my cheek. I opened my eyes and looked into your's, returning my gaze with an unfamiliar look. I pressed into you just before you pulled away. I sat and stared at you, feeling so helplessly lost. What was it?

Instead of words of reassurance, you got to your feet and turned away, muttering in a voice so low, I had to strain my ears to hear you. My palms began to sweat, my fingers turned number and I could feel myself turn cold when I heard you say, without a hint of guilt, 'I feel like we're being watch'. I guess I'm not worth being seen with.